Going on a Journey

  • By Letting Her Go

    I have been sitting with a sentence from Nouwen’s In Memoriam that I am not sure I am yet capable of receiving.He says, at the end of his account of his mother’s death: By letting her go I did not lose her. Rather, I found that she is closer to me than ever. In and…

  • She Would Not Let Go

    I need to say something I have not said publicly, because I think Carol’s story cannot be fully told without it.When I retired from my last ministry position, I made a vow. I would not teach again, would not preach again, would not serve in a church again. The years had been long — Chad,…

  • It Is Good for Us

    I have to be honest. This is the hardest thing Nouwen says, and I am not sure I believe it yet.He is writing to his father, six months after his mother’s death, and he builds a careful argument — rooted in John 16:7, in the words of Jesus to his disciples on the night before…

  • What Her Death Is Teaching Me

    She taught me most things I know that are worth knowing.That is not sentiment. That is the considered judgment of sixty years of paying attention. She taught me what fierce love looks like when it is not afraid of cost. She taught me what it means to uproot a family and carry three children to…

  • What She is Still Doing

    Henri Nouwen, in the weeks after his mother’s death, came to a conviction that I have been sitting with since December 22. He wrote that to truly mourn someone is not to tell their story over and over, not to place photographs on the wall or visit a stone in a cemetery. It is something…

  • The Funeral

    The sky was dark ominous as I stood outside the Great Hall and watched the mourners entering for the funeral service. Grief was very evident in their faces and their eyes were filled with tears as they made their way inside. As I looked into the eyes of some I also felt they were carrying…

  • The Tapestry

    There was excitement in the air outside the Great Hall that late afternoon. I had watched the people assembling and heard snatches of their urgent conversations. They were all talking about the fact that the Great Tapestry had been hung in the Great Hall today and this afternoon they would finally be able to see…

  • Newborns and Infants

    I remember that night as clear as a cold winter sky when the stars are shining bright against the dark canopy of the heavens. I was cleaning out an old file cabinet in the back of a storeroom when I came across a very official looking envelop. I debated at first about opening it since…

  • The Courtroom

    He felt confident sitting in the courtroom that beautiful fall day. It had been a beautiful drive into the city. He had left early to miss the morning commuters and had been able to watch the sun coming up over the horizon illuminating the hills that were alive with the bright colors of the season.…